Waiting and Waiting

I remember a poem I memorized in 1st grade about Christmas.  It detailed the preparations we go through and after each stanza, the most important, "but most of all, we wait, and wait."  How fitting.  I remember those days well, filled with anticipation...they dragged on. 

It's funny how we remember things like this, and how they are still pertinent today, 20 years later.  I feel like I'm in a perpetual 12 Days of Christmas, just waiting and waiting....and waiting.  Some things I've been waiting for longer than others.  I submitted a job application today, I'm waiting to hear back.  I waited this whole past year waiting to hear about the next piece of information on where I'd be this year.  I'm still waiting to figure that out exactly and have the additional benefit of another year of waiting before my questions from last year will be answered.  All of the next steps of my life are starting to show themselves a bit, but without much clear direction.  But most of all, I'm waiting to be in the same place, the same country even, as Pablo. 

We've been together a year and a half, and known each other for over 5 years.  If you were to add all of the days we've spent together it would sum to less than a few months.  That means that in the 5 years we've known each other, about 4 1/2 (and counting) were spent at least a plane ride apart.  It makes it easier never having lived in the same place, we don't know fully what we're missing.  But I wouldn't call this fun.  Especially these days.  I have waaaayyy too much time on my hands.  20 hours of work aren't enough to keep me busy, I have no school work (dissertation? what's that?), and my roomies are gone leaving me a quiet house.  This is nice for a while, but I can't help but wish Pablo was here, cuddled next to me on the couch, helping me cook dinner, here to talk with me about our days.

All of this waiting is getting old.  But, it helps me to know that there's an end in sight (hello, April wedding!) and that I've got fun things planned for when I get home.  But I am so ready to stop waiting.  So while I'll go through all of the preparations for each new step and have some fun along they way, I know that most of all, I'll wait and wait.